A Woman’s Guide to a Better Relationship Through Training

By aboutFLR.com

You need this book!

You need a plan to make good changes last. You need a method to make your plan succeed. This book is your ally in understanding how change happens in men and how to make it work for your man. Men are both teachable and eager to learn. Where it all starts is with you taking the lead in training.

How will the book make my relationship more successful?

The book guides you into the psyche of men. Men want harmonious relationships. You will discover men also want you to step up and take a little charge. By learning how to manage change and promote good habits stress will be reduced, harmony increased, and things will get better. You have it within your power to make your relationship better, the book assists you.

What is in this book?

The book contains the plan and means for success. You will see a solid plan to get his attention, and get him motivated to move in the right direction. The book encourages you to use the 5 Food Groups to make your relationship better faster and cleaner. The food groups illuminate the areas most couples fight over, the book helps you see that by identifying those areas and knowing how to manage them, you will both become winners - yes, a win win win for you both and your relationship.

What if I want to change him?

Training someone to do something is much different and simpler than training someone to behave differently. This guide covers both. Changing behaviors and characteristics about a person we call behavior modification with re-socialization. Behavior modification touches how a person acts while re-socialization is about how a person sees themselves. It is possible to change habits, mannerisms and all parts of the personas and core attributes of people. It takes a great deal of work and time and unless it becomes a lifestyle that time will be wasted because people learn on their own how to behave based on the feedback they get from others, so when that feedback is not consistent, they basically retrain themselves.

Why train him?

Ultimately the reason for training is to have a better relationship and happier more productive people. In female led relationships, your man is asking for your leadership, authority over him, your blessing for him to serve and support you and your help to learn the best ways of accomplishing that. He is also asking for motivation and a kind of power exchange. The motivation he wants is you asserting control and leadership with the potential for punishment and reward (the best reward is your happiness and approval of him for what he is doing for you both as a couple). The kind of power exchange he is seeking will put him in a dependent and vulnerable position with the potential for real intimacy.

Your active participation in training him will accomplish many things for him, you and your relationship. The highest goal of training should always be "a better relationship."

What does training look like?

Training comes in two areas of specialty: 1) skills training and 2) behavior modification with re-socialization. The two areas are mutually exclusive and more people will not engage in behavior modification with re-socialization unless they are quite serious about changing.

Training for FLR conjures up visions of a latex clad woman standing over a man with her whip. When we say "Training" it may fit his fantasy but it won’t work to train him unless you use real principles in deference to his fantasy.

Training comes in three packages. 1) Play time where you just enjoy together while learning; 2) Experimentation where you both experience FLR in many ways to see what works and what does not; and 3) Formal training when you have experienced enough to justify moving your relationship in the direction where you as the woman are leading your man "all the time" in whatever areas you have agreed to.

Training looks like a couple having something they want to play at, experiment with or live like; talking it over together and making it happen. That may seem normal for you both or you might to work at it. It may also be kinkier than that and dress for the occasion or undress whatever the case may be may be part of your experiments. Here is a visual:

You want to live in a level 3 FLR where you as the woman take control of all 5 food groups and he becomes your support system. You have agreed together and have played and experimented so you are sure. You as the leader assign him a chore; you teach him the standards for doing that chore to your satisfaction; make time for him to do it; check how he is doing from time to time; then give him feedback when he is done. You may use rewards and punishments. It could look as normal as it does at work when you get training and the reward is you get a bonus and the penalty is you get fired; or it can look as you envision with him naked, crawling pushing a dust pan with his mouth. You two as a couple can sort that part out, training need not be kinky or business like; just instructive.

As strange as it may seem training happens all the time and in many strange ways; consider boot camp, initiations to fraternities and sororities and secret societies. Then there is normal training when you were a kid that ended in a whipping or the dreaded hairbrush. So there is conventional training and unconventional training that both seem to work.

The night of pleasure -- scenario (from the book)

"The idea is for him to give you a romantic evening or night of pleasure and seek nothing for himself except the pleasure of participation. The woman is the receiver of pleasure and the authority figure. The man is working in courtship mode to win the reward of the woman’s company."

Training him to follow (from the book)

The act of teaching will train him to follow especially when he is motivated and interested. All of us received and may continue to receive training throughout our lives. Without this training we would not be nearly as capable as individuals to cope or become productive. The natural extension of that kind of training seems somehow out of place in a relationship. Our belief system might tell us, "He should know that." In some cases he will know what to do but in others he will be a misfit for the task. Similarly your leadership skills might need some training or fine tuning.

The task of training assumes you have a standard, an objective and the time to teach and supervise. The simple chore of doing the dishes is a little more complex when you want them done a certain way, at a certain time. The standard is "your way of doing them," the objective is getting the dishes done. The time is his time to do them and your time to teach him how you want them done. The supervision is your looking from time to time to see they are done to your standard.


© 2011 Round-2 Communications and M. Lyman Hill - all rights reserved